Are you familiar with those National Day Of’s?  There is a website where each day the site lists the reason to celebrate a certain event. I have to chuckle because many of these events are everyday occurrences in my life (National Drink Wine day; National Dark Chocolate Day; National Comfy Day, etc). This past week was National Love Your Pet day, which focuses on giving extra attention to our pets. The day encourages pampering our pets and focusing on the special relationship pets hold in our lives. Again, another day that happens every day in my life and doesn’t need a special designated day, although I appreciate the attention dedicated to our precious fur babies.

Speaking of fur babies, I am going to admit something shocking. Brace yourselves!  I am an unmarried, childless woman in my late 50’s. I live alone, and I have….wait for it…five cats!  I can hear the audible gasps.  Am I the crazy cat lady?? Oh dear…how did this happen? Well, the unmarried, living alone part is a story all its own. But how did I end up with five cats? I am not sure, as growing up we never had cats and I didn’t like them. My dad was a dog person so we always had dogs. My best friend next door had cats, but all they did was lay around and never interacted with anyone. I thought they had zero personality. Then one day in the mid 1990’s, a random trip to a pet store and a chance connection with a beige tabby named Buffy, whose name was later changed to Gabby due to her constant chatter, changed my life forever. It was instant chemistry…love at first sight, and I knew I had to take her home. Gabby was my best friend, my roommate, my companion, my “child”, and we loved each other dearly. In Gabby I found a fullness in my heart that I had not found with humans, and my soul felt fulfilled with Gabby in my world. I learned quickly that cats do have so much personality and each one is unique. I also learned that cats give back to you what you give to them. If you ignore a cat, they will ignore you. But if you talk to a cat and give him or her lots of love and attention, they will return that attention tenfold.

 I loved Gabby so much that I felt horrible when she was left alone during long work days. So I thought I would get her a friend. Enter Theodore, a six month old beige and white tabby. Well Theodore wasn’t very kind to Gabby, who would have been around four or five at that time, and in turn she started becoming distant. In retrospect, I realize now that some kitties are happiest being a single cat, and I believe that was the case with Gabby. But in order to keep young Theodore entertained, since Gabby was not embracing him, I adopted Misty¸a gray Maine Coon with beautiful green eyes. Shortly after, my boyfriend fell in love with Libby, a quirky and silly calico, and that crew became known as the Core Four. Eventually I volunteered at an animal shelter, and as you can imagine that’s like being in a candy store with so much temptation. A few kitties from the shelter did find their way home with me as Gabby and the rest of the Core Four departed this world and crossed over the rainbow bridge. As each one left, there was a hole in my heart and an emptiness in the house, and it was easy to talk myself into filling that vacancy whenever the opportunity presented itself. Going back to the Core Four, with the addition of each new kitty, the distance with Gabby grew further, as she found more comfort in solitude and being away from the other kitties in the house. Looking back, my heart breaks that I didn’t realize at the time how the addition of the other kitties was impacting her. However, I do credit Gabby with being such an amazing cat, and how that lead to me wanting to take on additional kitties into my little family. If Gabby had been an asshole cat, as some are, I never would have entertained taking on another. So for Gabby, her awesomeness was both a blessing and a curse.

As I pondered National Love Your Pet Day, and reflected on how each kitty made his or her way into my life, I was reminded of this poem Stereotypes from my second book “Scatter Seeds of Kindness.” This poem actually has a subtitle which is aka Crazy Cat Lady. So it is right there in the title. I have often wondered why friends and neighbors who have three or four dogs are never granted the title of “crazy” dog person, but someone with a few cats is automatically labeled this moniker, even if done in an endearing or joking manner.

 This poem, and the subsequent subtitle, explores the stereotypes that society imposes, and asks the question “who makes these rules?” Who gets to say that having a couple of cats makes you a crazy cat lady, but having a few dogs is perfectly acceptable? Where do these “rules” come from and how do they get ingrained in our culture?  It can really have an impact on our psyche, as we wonder if there is something wrong with us because we may not fit into the perfect little box that “society” feels we should fit into, or we don’t follow the rules that “society” feels we should follow.  In this same book, there is a poem called My Bubble, which discusses the 2020 lockdown due to the Covid pandemic. Many people experienced elevated anxiety, depression, and loneliness during the lockdown, not to mention missing opportunities to indulge in some fresh air, sunshine, and social activities with friends and family. In some cases this led to increases in alcohol and drug use, as well as suicides and divorces. But some people, myself included, embraced the lockdown. I rather enjoyed being inside my bubble, away from the world. It is not only the pandemic that caused people to want to stay inside and hide. Our culture does embrace certain stereotypes, and many people do not feel as if they belong within these confines that have been set. If someone feels that they are “different” or do not belong, that may cause them to hide inside their bubble and isolate themselves from a society that does not quite understand them. However, as inviting as it might sound to live inside a bubble, the truth is that we cannot hide away from the world if we want to live a healthy and satisfying life, and that includes living our lives in the way that serves us best, even if that lifestyle falls outside of the perfect societal box. As long as we are not hurting ourselves or others, or indulging in illegal or immoral behavior, it is our life to live as we choose. Life can be very stressful, so we need to counteract that stress by doing things that make ourselves happy and fulfills our hearts and souls, and by surrounding our homes with what we love, which in my case happens to have pointed ears and whiskers.

Society always has her claws out, scratching at our lives, but we can scratch back by living our lives on our terms. After all, happiness and success is the best revenge. We can respect these rules that most of civilization follows, but that doesn’t mean we have to adhere to them. We all have free will in this world, and sometimes standing alone as an outsider gives us new perspective and a strength we may not have known we possessed. And who knows, we may just be a role model for others who are struggling with not quite fitting in, as they watch us navigate life and society, and give the proverbial middle finger to all these rules that have becoming part of our culture, whether right or wrong, fair or not fair. Most of the world may follow along, and that’s fine it that works for them. But we don’t have to. We can stand alone on our own two feet, and in my case, I am accompanied by twenty (20!) tiny pawed feet that stand along with me.

This poem is meant to be lighthearted and a tribute to my love for all furry friends, no matter how many you have. But even I realize there is a limit, and when you take on too much of anything, something or someone will always suffer. So we always have to do what is in the best interest of the animal. In that, I am sure society would agree.

Stereotypes

(aka Crazy Cat Lady)

I have a friend who has three dogs
They live within her heart.
She cuddles them, she kisses them,
They rarely are apart.

When people see them walking by
They smile or stop to pet.
No one calls her crazy,
Or at least they haven’t yet!

I have five cats that live with me,
Whom I love with all my heart.
I cuddle and I kiss them
And we rarely are apart.

But when people hear of my large brood
They shyly look away.
They don’t want me to see their face
That says that I’m cray-cray!

So why is there the difference
Between our furry friends?
Who decides what’s acceptable?
I guess that all depends.

Who decides these rules in life
And in society?
Why is someone smiled upon,
But others called crazy?

I don’t need someone’s judgment,
Nor in their eyes to see the pity.
There is nothing I’m ashamed of
Because I love a kitty.

Isn’t it a better cause
To bring into a home
An animal that’s safe and sound,
Instead of left to roam?

Is to such a wrong thing
if it brings such joy to me?
Even if outside the norms
set by society?

But one thing we have in common,
No matter what you love,
Be it dog or cat or hedgehog
Or even tiny turtle dove;

This one thing I am certain
And I boldly will proclaim,
When it’s time for them to leave us
Our hearts break just the same.

-K.A. Bloch-