Last week we lost our dear, sweet nineteen year old cat Missy. She passed peacefully at home in her favorite spot in the kitchen where she loved to hang out while dinner was being prepared; ever the hopeful for a scrap of something. She was such a funny, quirky kitty and the house feels very empty without her constant chattering and begging for a meat stick or a Churro (if you have a cat, you know!)
Missy was a true rescue. She didn’t come to us until she was ten years old. The family who had her since she was a kitten brought her into the vet to be euthanized because Grandma was moving in and was allergic to cats (insert angry face emoji!). We heard that story and said “Oh Hell No!” I happened to be volunteering at a local shelter at the time, and as the story circulated, volunteers were able to go and pick her up from the veterinarian’s office where she was saved from early death. Thankfully, the volunteers got there on time and scooped her up to be brought back to our shelter where I met her the next day after hearing the story. As bad timing would have it, we learned that day the shelter was being shut down due to not filing the proper paperwork. All of us volunteers suddenly found ourselves in the position of having to find foster homes and alternate shelter care for almost 100 cats and dogs. Of course, after hearing the story of Missy’s close call, and meeting with her through the cage where she promptly bit my finger (a sign I took as affection , like a love bite), we adopted her and took her to her new fur-ever home, where she happily settled right in.
The last two years we had started to see a decline in Missy’s health, as her fur started to get matted due to lack of grooming, and she slept more soundly and for longer periods of time. There were times I had to shake her to wake her, fearing the worst. But her spirit never diminished, and she remained happy and chatty right up until her last night. The past few weeks she really started to decline, and the vet confirmed she was in the start of kidney failure. As I saw her start to have accidents, which she had never done, I never blamed her since she was always so good about using her litter box, but I did see signs that she was at the end of her life. And so I started to prepare myself for the inevitable heartbreak that eventually came last Thursday night.
We often hear people say things like “Be Happy”, “Live every moment”, “Dance like no one is watching.” These are phrases we hear every day. Why? Because we never know what tomorrow may bring. But then again…we kind of do. When we adopt that puppy or kitten, we know that in ten to fifteen years (or nineteen if we’re lucky), we’ll have to say goodbye. We know that at some point we’re going to have to bury our parents and possibly our older siblings, which as we also know is the natural order of life. We know not all of our dreams will come true. So what do we do about it? We can worry about tomorrow or next week or next year, but it doesn’t change anything other than stealing the joy from today.
Life is going to hand us a shit sandwich sometimes, and we can prepare ourselves for those moments. But there’s also a lot of space in between these events where life is good and we can and should be happy and embrace that joy. The future will bring what it’s going to bring, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it, but we can brace ourselves for it by strengthening our spirit, keeping our bodies and minds healthy, and maintaining good relationships and a positive attitude. That way, when the bad happens (and it will), we can deal with it until we get through it, knowing that life will balance out the bad with the good.
Speaking of, I think of balance as being 50/50. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want fifty percent of my life to be bad, even if the other fifty percent is good! Those are just not great odds at all in my opinion. So if bad things have to be a part of life, and they really are inevitable, I hope for all of us the percentage looks closer to 90/10 in favor of the good stuff. Those are odds I can live with.
“Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength —carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.” —Corrie ten Boom
Bracing for Heartbreak
The hospice nurse gathered her things
And said it won’t be long.
She patted me on the shoulder
And advised me to stay strong.
“Enjoy the time that’s left,” she said.
“For it could be any day”,
As I braced myself for heartbreak
That I knew would come my way.
A teenage girl stood patiently
Waiting for her chance
To see if her childhood crush
Would invite her to the dance.
She keeps trying to win him over
With her kindness and her charm,
Until she spots him with another girl
Walking arm in arm.
She did have her suspicions,
And this does confirm her fears.
She braces for the heartbreak
As she tries to fight the tears.
A little boy hides in his room
As his parents fight again.
He knows that they were happy once,
But can’t remember when.
He hears the slamming of a door,
Preceded by a shout.
He braces for the heartbreak
As his father marches out.
My kitty, she turned ten last week.
I think it’s fair to say
That half her life has come and gone
As the years just clicked away.
I hold her a little tighter
And kiss her furry head.
Knowing that someday
I’ll be embracing grief instead.
So many moments of sorrow
Sprinkled throughout our lives.
We brace ourselves for heartbreak
So we’re prepared when it arrives.
These moments are inevitable.
They’re a part of life, but still.
They strengthen our resolve
But they also test our will.
This all sounds so dismal
And so very gloom and doom.
It’s easy to push joy aside
And let the negative consume.
Both are just a part of life,
The good along with bad;
The yin and yang of balancing
The happy and the sad.
We can brace for heartbreak,
For it surely will arrive.
But we can also embrace happiness,
And be grateful we’re alive.
-K.A. Bloch-
In Honor of Missy
2006 – 05/29/2025
Rest in Peace Sweet Girl
