Remember that scene at the beginning of “It’s a Wonderful Life” where Clarence was a star up in the sky having a conversation with Franklin, who was a blinking cluster of stars and presumed to be another angel, albeit more experienced? That must have been part of the inspiration for this poem. I wrote this poem when I was in my early 20’s after the sudden death of my Dad when I was very mad at the world and wasn’t really sure if there was anything beyond. But then the universe said “I’ve got your back”, and started sending me signs, and I’ve had faith ever since. I remember looking up into the night sky during that time and finding some peace and comfort from staring at the stars. As it turns out, my parent’s best friends purchased a star in my Dad’s name, as was common back then, so I am sure this further inspired me to think that perhaps my Dad was hanging around in the night sky to guide my way.
Many years later, my Mom passed away after several months in the hospital. Even though we had time to prepare and spend time with her right up until the end, we were still understandably devastated. That led me to question which is easier to bear; losing someone suddenly where your world is rocked because you did not see it coming, or watching someone slowly fade away over a period of time. The answer, I can assure you, is neither. They both come with their own sets of regrets and what-if’s. And at the end of each situation, the result is the same; they are gone and you are left behind to carry on in whatever way you can.
That being said, do I think my mom or dad is that star in the sky? No. But do I think there is something out there that helps to guide us? Yes, I do believe that. Sometimes it was during times of struggle when I needed some encouragement, other times it was just random and seemed to come out of nowhere. But something was there. I have felt it more than once, countless times even, as a strength that I cannot deny feeling.
Just in case anyone needs a little faith…as I mentioned I do believe there are forces out there working on our behalf. I wrote about this in my poem The Chloe Connection (https://thepracticalpoet.com/the-chloe-connection/) with the following verse:
I believe our loved ones are with us.
I believe in angels and guides.
I believe that hope can exist in our hearts
Even if pain still resides.
Have you ever gone way into the country, away from the smog and lights of the city, and looked up into the evening sky? It really is such a calming and peaceful feeling, with all those stars up there brightening our world, like little guardian angels determined to make our path a little brighter. Maybe there really is something to this theory after all. At least that’s what I believe. Do you believe? Maybe or maybe not, or perhaps you want to but still remain a little skeptical, and I understand that. But for me, in this crazy world with so many challenges that we face daily, does it hurt to hold out a little hope that something may exist to guide us along?
So Long For Now
I looked into the midnight sky,
Not sure what I would find.
I saw a star that winked at me
Or was it in my mind?
I looked again just to be sure,
Was I really sane?
Or was it only wishful thinking
To help me ease my pain?
No. It was something more I felt.
The feeling was too strong.
This star was reaching for my hand
And guiding me along.
I put my hand inside of it
And let it lead the way.
Instantly I felt inside
That things would be okay.
Then all at once it dawned on me,
This was my guiding light
To help me through each passing day
And every lonely night.
This strength felt so familiar,
Like someone very dear.
It couldn’t be – I shook my head,
And wiped away a tear.
Then I began to wonder
What happens when we die?
Do we become the midnight stars
That glisten in the sky?
Will we someday be guiding lights
That twinkle from above;
External lights that shine so bright
Upon those that we love?
To hope that those I’ve loved and lost
Found a peaceful place to go
Brings some Heaven down to Earth
And helps me to let go.
So now when I find troubled times
I look into the sky,
And I feel that helping hand reach out
With a strength I can’t deny.
And all at once I know inside
That things will be alright.
So long for now, my little star
For I’ll see you tonight.
-K.A. Bloch-
