Happy New Year!! Good-bye 2025 and welcome 2026! I have missed posting but I took a much needed social media break through the month of December. It feels good to be back and I am happy to post again. Keeping with a positive tone, I thought it would be a good thing to start the New Year off talking about communication.
The following is a new(ish) poem that was actually written a year ago and put to the side. I say it is a “new” poem because it has not been published in any of my four books. So what made me think of this poem a year after it was written? I was reminded of it as I was speaking with someone at a gathering. As they often do, the holidays tend to bring us in contact with people we may not have seen for awhile. Its funny when we reconnect with someone after a lengthy time has passed. Sometimes we pick right up where we left off, as was the case recently with a childhood friend who visited from Florida. But other times, the meeting is uncomfortable and the conversation is stifled as you each realize that what you used to have in common is no longer the case. The conversation may become filled with those awkward silences as you each search for things to talk about. We might find ourselves reverting back to shared experiences from our youth and reliving our “glory days” as a way to reconnect or bond over the things that used to hold us together. Sometimes it ends with a hug or a handshake and each person may walk away with an odd feeling, as if something has been lost that can never be found again. Or sometimes you may find through sharing that the other person is going through something that you have experienced, and you might use this as a springboard to reconnect and build those bonds again. This was the case at the Christmas party where I learned that the person I was speaking with was going through a tough time; but this is where the conversation became awkward and stifled.
As the person explained the issue they were dealing with, a few people who overheard the conversation and happened to have had a similar problem tried to offer empathy and/or advice. But the person with the issue kept stating they were having different feelings or a dissimilar experience, and even became a little defensive in their stance and with their words. But no one was attacking or being aggressive. Everyone was just trying to offer some input or a different perspective based on their own similar experience with the topic being discussed, but the person was closed off to hearing these different inputs, stating that “no one understands.”
In normal conversation, as we listen to someone else’s experience, we may want to interject to let the person know we have been in a similar situation or had a comparable occurrence. But the person who is listening (for simplicity sake let’s call him/her the recipient) may not be receptive to hearing our story. They may say things like “Well that’s different”, or “You don’t understand how I’m feeling”, or they may feel as if we are trying to one-up them, which is rarely the case. We, as the person offering our viewpoint, may feel slighted or shut down or we may remove ourselves from the conversation altogether. It is unfortunate when this happens, as it really represses any further conversation. The speaker may have found some comfort in sharing their story or found it therapeutic, but the recipient won’t get the benefit of hearing how the situation was resolved or how the speaker worked through their feelings. So this two-way communication has now become no-way communication, no one benefits and both parties walk away feeling frustrated.
In this poem, one person appears to be going through some type of heartbreak or loss, and another person is listening and wants to interject with some advice or share an experience, but they are afraid of being shut down. They are practically begging to be asked to share their story. Whether that happens or not remains to be seen, but we hope the two people were able to bond over their shared experiences, or at the very least walk away from the conversation feeling seen,heard, and hopefully understood by the other party.
Ask Me How I Know
Your broken heart is heavy
And it’s weighing down your soul.
Your face is streaked like rain soaked glass
From tears you can’t control.
Your shoulders are slumped forward
From the burdens that you carry.
You try to smile at strangers
But the motion feels contrary.
You say that no one understands
As more tears begin to flow.
But I tell you that I do…
So ask me how I know.
You are angry at the world
For the bad luck sent your way.
You bellow at the Heavens
As you curse another day.
Your anger, it is justified,
And so I tell you so.
You glance at me in disbelief…
So ask me how I know.
What do I know of heartache,
And pain that sears the heart?
How do I know that heartbreak
Can rip one’s world apart?
How do I know of helplessness
And a deepening depression?
What do I know of memories
That surface from regression?
What do I know of crossroads
And taking roads less traveled,
Then learning the path was a mistake
As goals became unraveled?
What do I know of dying dreams
That fade into the night?
What do I know of rising again,
And fighting the good fight?
What do I know about giving up,
Then taking back one’s power?
How do I know that feelings change…
Sometimes by the hour?
What do I know of hopelessness,
And deep despair, and grief?
How do I know that shedding tears
Can bring forth some relief?
What do I know of wishes lost
And hopes that don’t come true?
Because not only have I witnessed it…
But I have lived it too.
And since I’ve lived this heartbreak
I would like to share my story
To see if I can help you;
This isn’t to bring glory.
So when you feel you are alone
And no one has your back
And you’re weary from fending
Unseen forces that attack…
And there is no place for which to turn
At least that’s how you feel…
As you try to grab back joy
The world always seems to steal…
When you don’t know where to turn
Or which direction you should go,
You can turn to me
And I will help you…because I know.
How do I know? You wonder…
I can see it in your eyes
As you take some time to ponder
And try to analyze
If I am being truthful
Or just pretending that I feel
All the things you speak of;
And if my pain is real.
It is, I can assure you.
It is, I tell you so.
And if you’re still in disbelief
Then ask me how I know.
-K.A. Bloch-
© 2025
