I remember taking a business ethics course in college. As we reviewed several different case studies in which people acted unethically, in some cases it was pretty obvious when someone stepped outside the lines. We see it every day in the news: people who say something they shouldn’t say or are caught doing something they shouldn’t do. But sometimes it wasn’t as obvious that they acted unethically, as it may have just been a slight indiscretion. In this ethics course, one of the yardsticks to measure our behavior was to ask ourselves how we would feel if our actions were captured as the headline in the morning newspa­per. Another question was to ask ourselves what our grandmother would say about our behavior. That hit home because no one wants to disappoint Granny. This was before the days where everyone had a cell phone with a video camera at the ready and before the days of social media and those videos going viral. I am not a very well-known person in the world, but I did write a book on spread­ing kindness. I am very aware when I am in public to not lose my shit or yell or be mean to someone else, lest someone start to videotape it and put it on social media that the author of a book on kindness was less than kind. Let me clarify, though; that is not my only motivation to not lose it in public. It’s just not the right way to behave, whether you have a book on kindness or not. Don’t be a jerk.

But even more important is because someone may be watching us. We may be influencing someone younger, and we want to be a good role model. I mentioned in another poem called Emotions Are Like A…from this same book “Sow Seeds of Wisdom” about how when I was younger I rarely saw my dad cry, and when I did how unnerving it was for me. I thought it was just because men were supposed to be tough and macho, but now I wonder if he knew how much it bothered me, so he was trying to be a good role model for me by holding it all together. Did it help me, though? Or did it teach me to keep my emotions bottled up inside?

This poem was inspired by someone I know who was having a very tough time, but yet she always had a smile on her face and often said “It could be worse.” She mentioned once that life might take her down, but she’ll hit the ground with a smile. I wrote this poem as a reminder for myself as well. I wear my emotions all over my face like a graphic t-shirt; loud and with a clear message that can’t be misinterpreted. I am trying to get better about smiling even in the face of challenges and adversity, but it is hard to do. However, it is so important, because we never know who may be watching, and who we might influence, either positively or negatively, by how we handle these tough situations. We want to set a good example, especially for those who are younger.

Children just entering school will look to older siblings and teachers as role models. As these kids get into high school, they will look toward the upperclass­men for guidance. College interns at a company will watch seasoned employees at company outings to learn the social norms of the organization and what is ex­pected and tolerated. And at work, they will seek out mentors to help guide them as they navigate and learn the culture.

As humans, we are often looking for guidance, so we search for someone whom we admire so we can emulate their behavior and their mannerisms and watch how they react to situations and events. But sometimes we may be that person that someone looks to for these cues, so it is important that we be a good role model for them. Even when we are tired or exhausted or feel like we’re carrying the weight of the world on our backs, it’s important to keep smiling and to keep up a brave façade (even if it is a façade). Even if you feel like you’re going to hit the ground, keep smiling. Because eventually you will get up. You may have dirt in your teeth and mud on your face. Your hair may be a mess. But you will get up again, and that smile will still be there. And someone will be watching and taking note. And someday, if their life takes a challenging turn, they may think back to you and how you handled yourself when your life was caving in, and they may smile even in their most challenging moments. Because they remember that you did in yours.

Role Models

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,
And yet I’ve often found
The things that do not kill you
Can still knock you to the ground.

And when you’re knocked down to the ground
And staring at the dirt,
It’s not the strength you focus on;
Your thoughts turn to the hurt.

When you are staring at the ground
You may not realize
That you cannot see clearly
Through the dirt that’s in your eyes.

It’s only when you rub your eyes
And open them up wide
That you can rise up to your knees
And begin to heal inside.

You can gain back that hopefulness
You thought for sure you’d lost.
It’s a valuable lesson to learn,
But it comes at such a cost.

So it’s important to remember
That when life knocks you down,
Try to keep on smiling,
Even as you hit the ground.

When the day is stretched before you,
But it’s filled with gloom and doom . . .
When you want to open up your heart,
But you cannot find the room . . .

When your legs don’t want to hold you
Because too much weight is bearing down,
Make sure to keep on smiling,
Even as you hit the ground.

When the sky is filled with dark clouds
And you cannot see the light . . .
When you need to toughen up your stance
But can’t handle the fight . . .

When the punches keep on coming
And you keep taking it on the chin . . .
When frustration keeps on building
And bravado’s wearing thin . . .

When it takes way too much effort
To turn that smile around,
Be sure to keep on smiling
Even as you hit the ground.

Because the people who look up to you
And have watched you all along
Will take note of how you handle life
And if you’re brave and strong.

For even in the wilderness
An animal won’t display
Its weakness to an enemy
So it doesn’t become its prey.

Even if injured, the creature
Puts forth a brave veneer
Until the enemy has moved on
Without sensing its fear.

And a tree within the forest
With its leaves so plush and green
Will not reveal if its branches
Have decay in between.

That tree will still stand tall and proud
Upon that forest floor
Even if disease has made it
Rotten to the core.

For if we stand back in troubled times
And see the strongest among us cave,
It may weaken our own resolve
To move forward and be brave.

So we keep that strength intact
So that others we may inspire.
And show that hope still exists,
Even when things seem dire.

Others may feed upon our strength
Even as they see us stumble.
So we try to set that good example,
And do our best not to crumble.

So we smile as we hit the ground
And brush the dirt from our eyes
So that when we pull ourselves back up,
We’re still smiling as we rise.

And others who are watching
The strength that we display
May draw some inspiration
When hard times come their way.

-K.A. Bloch-