As the days begin to get darker earlier, this is a sure sign that the end of summer is sadly approaching. Another sign are the long aisles of school supplies laid out at the stores. I remember how much I loved shopping for new school supplies when I was in grade school. I combed through that list as soon as it arrived in our packet, along with the class schedule, list of teachers, and of course that phone call on our hard landline phone to my best friends to see what their schedules held, praying we at least shared lunch period. Then when the much anticipated shopping day arrived, I would gather up all of those new treasures in the cart and eagerly await the ride home so I could touch them, organize them, and as a young writer, imagine what stories and poems would spew out of the lead of that rigid #2 pencil. So many possibilities!
The start of a new school year does bring about many expectations and hopes that it will be a promising and memorable year. But it can also bring about negative feelings such as uncertainty, anxiety, and insecurity. After all, not everyone is a part of the popular crowd. Many people, me included, have dealt with the school bully (https://thepracticalpoet.com/the-bully-from-scatter-seeds-of-kindness/), which is usually brought about by no fault of our own. But sometimes we do bring on our own problems by hooking up with the wrong crowd, and people who may not have our best interests at heart. It is not difficult to get drawn into the wrong crowd, especially for those who have not yet come into their own with a strong sense of self. As humans, we all want to belong to something, and unfortunately sometimes that “something” is that of which is not in our best interests. People may draw us into a group because they feel they can manipulate us into doing what they want, such as their homework, and we go along because we want to be their friend. We may not yet have realized (or maybe we have but don’t want to admit) that they may be using us for their own interests while discarding what is best for us. Not a true friend by any means!
But hanging with the wrong crowd can lead to more harm than just getting caught doing someone’s homework. We may give in to pressure from our peers because again, we want to fit in and belong. At that age, we are really only concerned with tomorrow or next week, and although college may be on the horizon, it is still very much in the future which seems intangible at that point when the present is foremost in our minds. We are not thinking of the implications of getting involved with the wrong crowd or getting drawn into activities that may impact our future. Today, and instant gratification, is very much the priority at that young and impressionable age.
But the youth are not the only ones who get caught up with the wrong crowd or do things that could adversely impact the future. As we get older, the temptation to try out new things grows, and these temptations may come with greater consequences. I’m sure you’ve heard of the phrase “guilty by association.” This phrase means that guilt may be placed upon you for being in the vicinity of a crime or an act, even if you weren’t directly involved. It is your association with the offender that brings forth the guilty opinion. This could happen if someone is under the legal drinking age, and they happen to be at a party where drinking is taking place. If the police are called, they will most likely check everyone, even those who haven’t had a sip of alcohol.
In past news, there have been stories about high school athletes who stood by while another teammate or -mates sexually assaulted someone else, and they did nothing to stop it. These athletes who stood by were called in and questioned about the event. They were not charged with anything, but it did most likely impact their reputation and perhaps damaged their chances at getting into their chosen college. This is a serious and extreme example. More than likely, in our average day, guilt by association comes more from someone saying something aloud in public, perhaps racist or political, and all heads turn toward us. We are automatically labeled as having the same views just for being around this person. Or I am sure we have all been at a restaurant or event with a group of people, and a couple in the group starts to argue. As it escalates and gets louder, people begin looking over at the group as a whole as we sink down in our chairs. Awkward.
That does bring forth the question though of why we would be around someone who would spew those views in public. In my third book, Gather Seeds of Hope: Poems, Prose, and Stories . . . With a Little Hope Sprinkled In, there is a poem called “Lessons.” This poem starts off acknowledging all the wonderful people who have come into my life and what they have taught me. The poem then gets into the flip side . . . the people who bring a negative attitude or a pessimistic outlook wherever they go. These people are hard to be around, but sometimes we have no choice as they may be family or lifelong friends. Unfortunately, people may look at us as though we share those same characteristics, even though our disposition may be sunny and positive. People may automatically assume that we share the same thought patterns or viewpoints. At some point, if the bad attitude gets to be too much for us, we have to protect ourselves, and that may mean distancing ourselves or at least taking a much-needed break. We do not want to be judged by the company we keep.
Currently in the United States, you cannot be charged with a crime just for being associated or in the vicinity, but as I mentioned, it could bring damage to your reputation. This could lead to more serious consequences, such as loss of a job or opportunity. Even the look of disappointment on friends’ or family members’ faces is enough of a harsh sentence.
Although this poem was written more about the groups we hang out with and the friendships we form when we are young and in our impressionable years, at any age we all want to be accepted and to be part of a larger group. But that crowd might not have our best interests at heart. This group may encourage or, more likely, pressure us to do things we are not comfortable with. Having the courage to step away from people and situations that don’t align with our values, especially at a young age, is the first step in building character and shaping who we will become as adults and all throughout our lives.
Here are two blog posts that expand on this topic and share this viewpoint. I would love for you to check them out.
In this post, a young girl finds her voice as she stands up for another little girl who is being bullied: https://thepracticalpoet.com/finding-our-voice-from-sow-seeds-of-wisdom/
This poem and post discusses why it is important to be a good role model, because you never know when someone may be watching and what behavior they may take note of and emulate in the future. https://thepracticalpoet.com/role-models-from-sow-seeds-of-wisdom/
The Company We Keep
Reputations can come with a price,
And bad ones are not cheap.
You can pay a hefty price
For the company you keep.
Be careful and be choosy
Of whom you allow into your tribe.
Shut the door on negativity,
And those who bring bad vibes.
For the people who surround you
Should bring out your very best.
They should not challenge your good will
Or put you to the test.
For those bad vibes and feelings
Can infect you like a sin;
Darkening your soul
As they seep into your skin.
Before you know what’s happened,
Perhaps without even seeing,
Their distrust has impacted you
And absorbed into your being.
Choose to surround yourself
With those who have your back
And will complement your talents
And provide the skills you lack.
For friends should lift each other up,
And not weigh each other down.
Friends should want to watch you soar
Not hold you to the ground.
A friend should never ask of you
Something outside of your belief.
Standing up for yourself
Can bring forward some relief.
So if there’s someone in your life
Who infects you like a germ,
You may need to take a stand;
Be tenacious and be firm.
Fight for your good nature,
And your reputation, and your name.
The more you stand up for yourself,
The more dignity you’ll reclaim.
There will always be those people
Whom we cannot avoid;
Who don’t possess compassion
And whose good nature seems devoid.
So we have to wear our armor
As this negativity does creep,
For we don’t want our good name ruined
By the company we keep.
-K.A. Bloch-
