Sometimes when I wake up in a grumpy mood, if the weather is dark and dreary it feels like a perfect match. Then as the day goes on, if the forecast changes and the sun begins to make an appearance as the clouds part, I feel irritated, like the weather has betrayed me. I suddenly feel the need to shift my mood to one that is brighter, to match this bright new day. In this world, we are often told to put on a happy face. Or we hear phrases like “Mustn’t grumble” or “Turn that frown upside down.” But sometimes it feels good to be surly, and that just happens to be where we are in our life at that moment.
In my second book, “Scatter Seeds of Kindness,” there is a poem called “The Devil on my Shoulder” in which the main character is in a dark mood, and he or she knows they have to pull themselves out of the doldrums, but they really have to fight with that devil on one shoulder, while the angel on the other shoulder tries to pull them to a brighter place. Ultimately, they realize they can’t remain in a foul mood. After all, it’s not fair to themselves or others around them. But they don’t just give in and go to the bright side either. They acknowledge that things are hard, and for them there has to be a middle ground between happiness and darkness that they accept both parts of at different times. Here is the link to the poem and post: https://thepracticalpoet.com/the-devil-on-my-shoulder-from-scatter-seeds-of-kindness/.
But why do we have that expectation to feel happy and be smiling all the time? Life is hard, and things do get us down. We shouldn’t feel pressure to change our moods to appease society or anyone telling us we should be upbeat and cheerful. Now, that doesn’t give us license to be rude or mean to others, but we shouldn’t be afraid to embrace our emotions when they hit.
This poem Lost and Found has a similar theme to “The Devil on my Shoulder,” and even embraces faith, as this person pulls him or herself out of the gutter. Nothing good can come out of staring into the darkness, except perhaps that it leads us into the light and into brighter days. Speaking of the gutter, I believe I received some inspiration for this poem from the Rush song “The Pass,” which mentions how all of us spend time in the gutter and the darkness, but how we have to look for those things in the world to help us out of that state so that we can find some motivation, direction and guidance toward living our best and most productive life.
Lost and Found
I sometimes like a rainy day.
It often fits my mood.
Sometimes I feel surly,
So it mirrors my attitude.
It feels good to be sour;
In fact it feels sublime.
And then I see, up in the sky,
The sun has begun to shine.
This big bright ball of glory,
With all its reaching rays,
Has poked into my world
And rearranged my day.
For now I feel obliged
To give my attitude a shift.
I need to shake away the gray,
And give my mood a lift.
But must I really shuffle
This mood of mine around?
Can’t I find some pleasure
In staring at the ground?
Instead of looking to the sky,
My gaze leans toward the drain
With leaves and trash caught in its teeth,
And backwash from the rain.
My thoughts are more in sync
With all this random clutter,
Sailing towards its destiny
As it races for the gutter.
For this is how I’m feeling now,
Off-course and afloat;
Without a goal, a destiny,
Like a sailor with no boat.
I feel edgy and unsettled,
As if I can’t unwind.
At least that garbage, gutter-bound,
Had a goal in mind.
And perhaps this random feeling
Is why I am so lost.
Like that drifting rainwater,
Among the waves I’m tossed.
I try to hold on tight,
As I weave and bob and bounce
And pray for some direction;
I’d be happy with an ounce.
It is at this moment
That I look up to the skies.
That glaring ball of light’s still there,
And I have to shield my eyes.
Then I watch the clouds depart
And give way to the sun.
And this is where I do believe
My healing has begun.
I still don’t know my purpose here.
I doubt that many do.
But while we’re here, we have to find
A plan we can pursue.
Something that gives peace,
And brings out the best in us.
I’m not sure what that is yet,
But in my faith I’ll trust.
And in my heart I know I cannot
Look toward the ground.
I have to keep my eyes ahead,
For there is beauty all around.
So this sun that poked into my life
With all its bright intrusion,
Has turned my thoughts around,
Leading me to the conclusion
That if my thoughts are dark and gray,
So will be my attitude.
But if I look up toward the sun,
It will brighten up my mood.
So thank you, sun, for beaming,
And clouds, for giving way.
Thank you for the darkness
That led me to this day.
Thank you, sun, for shining,
And thank you, clouds, for parting.
For now I feel my journey
Into peace is finally starting.
-K.A. Bloch-
