In today’s world, emotions and mental health are very much top of mind. This is very different from the view of these topics when I was growing up. In previous generations, like my parents, they would have been fired if they called off work to take a “mental health day”. In my youth, it was very rare to see my dad or any other male adults in my life cry or show emotion. When they did cry, it was a very unsettling feeling, because I knew something was very wrong. Now that I am older, there are quite a few men around me whom I have seen shed a tear when their emotions hit. It is no longer upsetting to me, and I respect it now because it shows me they are in touch with their feelings and aren’t afraid to show it when something literally brings them to tears. It makes me feel sad for previous generations where men felt they had to bottle everything inside, lest they be labeled as weak. I believe the emotions we experience, embrace, and display serve to strengthen our character.
Emotions color our lives in so many ways. Throughout the course of just one day, we can experience many different emotions. Some days are like a roller coaster of emotions as life takes us up one hill and down another. In 1980, a psychologist by the name of Robert Plutchik developed a theory of emotions. Although Plutchik believed that humans can experience 34,000 unique and different emotions, we typically experience eight primary emotions which include anger, fear, sadness, joy, disgust, surprise, trust, and anticipation. I’m not sure about you, but there are days when I feel like I’m tapping into every one of those 34,000 emotions!
Emotions are like a patchwork quilt. After all, a patchwork quilt consists of small pieces of cloth in different designs, colors, or textures sewn together to make a beautiful tapestry. Our emotions, like that quilt, consist of many different things that come together to color who we are. Some pieces of that quilt are made of bright and cheery fabric, like our happy and content emotions, while other pieces may be darker, like our gloomy moods. Some squares of the quilt have a rougher or raised texture, similar to how humans may develop a rough exterior as life’s challenges ensue. Sometimes this rough exterior makes us appear prickly and crotchety. And this quilt, like our emotions, consists of many layers and is not just one-dimensional. As I mentioned above, some days I feel like I experience several different layers of emotions.
Like humans, if you look closely enough, the quilt is most likely not perfect. There may be squares that aren’t sewn together symmetrically, or threads may be pulling loose, or even unraveling if pulled just a little too much. The quilt may be stretched too thin from overuse, or it may be faded by the sun, or there may be more dark pieces than lighter and brighter pieces.
Oftentimes, when we witness someone displaying their emotions, especially anger, we may step back and wonder, what is wrong with them, or, why are they acting that way? We may not want to be associated with them at that time until they can “calm down” or “get a grip.” But this person may just be experiencing a rush of emotions that they are not sure how to deal with in that moment. So perhaps we can extend some grace and understanding and realize that, like that quilt, we all have imperfections in the fabric that makes us who we are.
Emotions are like a…
A woman sits in a darkened room
With her head tucked to her knees
Praying that someone will hear her sobs
And desperate, crying pleas.
For she can’t go on much longer
With this hopeless state of mind.
She knows she needs to lift her head
And some peace she needs to find.
But she is not sure where to turn
Or how much more she can endure.
The darkness just confuses her
As her thoughts become obscure.
But then she sees some light pass through,
Albeit just a sliver.
And she feels some peace and comfort
Flowing through her like a river.
Grief is like a curtain.
Sometimes when it is lifted,
And the sun is shining in
We feel like we’ve been gifted.
In moments when the sun shines in
It fills us up with hope
And strengthens our resilience
So that we can learn to cope.
But too often that curtain
Is drawn down firm and tight
So the darkness is consuming
As it swallows up the light.
Yet sometimes through that curtain
A beam of light shines in
And gives a sign of hope
So that healing can begin.
A man lies down in his bed
And covers up his eyes.
He cannot stop the bad thoughts,
Although he really tries.
Those thoughts are dark and brooding;
His state of mind—irate.
He prays for sleep to find him
And release him from this state.
Anger is like a river,
Raging as it flows,
Bubbling at the surface,
Gathering debris as it goes.
It never stops its flowing
And it never changes course.
It just keeps moving onward
As it continues to build force.
Anger is like that river.
It can build and swell and grow.
But there has to be a moment
When the anger starts to slow.
And like that raging river
That finds its way to a calm sea,
Anger can subside,
So you can release debris.
A young woman jumps out of bed
On a glorious morn in May.
She does a little dance,
For this is her wedding day!
She’s waited so long for this date,
And to finally say “I do.”
She cannot hide her smile
As her happiness flows through.
Joy is like a puppy
Always nipping at our feet,
Reminding us of the good things
And how life can be so sweet.
But joy can be short lived,
And too often can be fleeting
As challenges and struggles
Seem to always be competing.
For years later, this same woman
Feels no bliss at all.
Her life has not turned out as planned,
As she feels her happiness stall.
Sorrow is like a shadow
Walking by our side,
Looming over our shoulder
And trying to trip our stride.
But a shadow does not like the light
And it will admit defeat.
As we step out of the darkness,
It will visibly retreat.
So many emotions in our lives,
It’s hard for me to track.
But these emotions make us human
And help build strength we lack.
For emotions are like a mighty oak
That gets stronger when wind blows.
Emotions serve to toughen us
As life ebbs and flows.
Emotions color our lives
Just like a patchwork quilt.
The diverse patterns and textures blend
To enhance the character we’ve built.
So emotions should be embraced
With all their gloom and glory.
For emotions that make up our days
Only serve to write our story.
And our story is unique to us
And makes us who we are.
So don’t cover up your emotions;
Display them proudly like a scar.
-K.A. Bloch-
