Have you ever noticed how an elderly person more often than not has a rounded spine and a forward posture? It is rare to find an older person with a straight and strong stance, although they do exist. More often than not, older folks are hunched over and sometimes have to use a cane to help support themselves. I realize there is a condition called osteoporosis that may be causing this. But I think part of the reason is due to a long life filled with challenges and hardships. Let’s face it, life is tough, and getting older is not for the faint of heart. Even in our youth and middle age we deal with life’s disappointments. By the time we get to our seventies and eighties, we may feel like we carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, hence the bend in our spine and forward lean. As we go through life, things may not have turned out as we had hoped. Maybe we weren’t popular in high school or didn’t get asked to the prom. The spine rounds a little more forward as we shrug our shoulders in disappointment. We may not have gotten into our chosen college, nor had the funds to even pursue higher education. This may have led us into a job we are not satisfied with. And the spine rounds a little more forward as we trudge through each day. Perhaps that great love we hoped for never presented itself, or if it did, it may have ended in some way, such as divorce or death. And the spine rounds a little more forward as face life alone. We may have dreamt of a house full of kids, but month after month, when that telltale red stain appeared, our spine rounded a little more forward. Or if we had those kids, the stress of raising them and watching them make their way into the world, especially if they pursued a different path than we had hoped for them, causes the spine to round a little more forward with worry, and perhaps some disappointment. As we age, we find ourselves saying goodbye to beloved pets, lifelong friends, parents, and siblings who may precede us in death. With each farewell and tear shed, the spine rounds a little more forward.
All that sounds very “gloom and doom”, and I realize that not all of life is struggles and challenges. Life has many moments of being very good with many happy occasions to celebrate. And that spine holds us strong and proud during these times. No matter what we are going through, and regardless of our age, the backbone definitely has an important job within our bodies. The backbone gives our bodies structure and support, while allowing us to move about and bend with flexibility when we need to pick something off the floor, and to straighten when we need to stand up tall (as our parents often reminded us). Eventually, when we get to an old age, that spine is tired of carrying all of that weight, but yet it still perseveres, and carries us right through to the very end and even beyond, as you will read in this upcoming poem.
This next poem pays homage to the great and mighty backbone as the old woman in the poem takes a begrudging walk down memory lane while resting in her chair. I say begrudging because there are many painful memories that she does not want to encounter while she is trying to rest. She recalls heartbreak and heartache, and times when she felt like she couldn’t stand up straight to face the day. But through it all, her spine supported her, and allowed her to stand tall and proud against life’s adversities. The backbone has an important anatomical function within our bodies, as indicated above. But when you tap into the emotional side of us as humans, we realize how much we need this strong spine to carry us through life and assist us with standing upright in these challenging moments, even when we want to collapse into a ball. And if we chose to collapse into that ball, the spine with its flexibility would accommodate that as well. But when you can stand up straight, roll your shoulders back and down, and face the world with strength, you are allowing the backbone to do its job by supporting you when you need support, bending with you when you need flexibility, and allowing you to hold your head up high no matter what curve balls life throws your way.
Do you recall the ending of the 1997 James Cameron’s movie Titanic? If you haven’t seen the movie you may want to skip this part as there is a spoiler alert. In the final scenes we see the main character of Rose, played by Gloria Stuart, as a very old woman and survivor of the great 1912 disaster. As Rose is sleeping, the camera pans to a table where she has set up photographs of her life. These photographs show that although her romance aboard the Titanic did not end as she would have liked, she still went on to live a happy and fulfilling life, despite the tragedies she encountered that year. As the camera returns to Rose, a dream sequence brings her back to the Titanic before she sunk, in all her glory, and the doors swing open for Rose to walk through to the grand staircase. Although the ending is open to interpretation, most people believe that Rose died that night and is not dreaming, and that she is reunited with all of the people who did not survive that fateful night of April 14,1912, including her love Jack. The woman in this poem reminds me of Rose; strong, stubborn, resilient, and able to stand tall and proud and live out her final days with peace and dignity, even though life may not have turned out as she had hoped.
The Backbone
An old woman climbs out of her chair
And tries to straighten her spine.
Her hair is silver and patchy,
And her face is filled with lines.
Her back does not quite straighten
As her shoulders form a slouch.
Her muscle mass is long gone now,
So her belly hangs like a pouch.
She shuffles into the kitchen
Where she brews a cup of tea.
Her cane helps move her to her chair
Where she can catch up on TV.
She is feeling quite exhausted
As she stands before her chair.
She reaches back behind her
Just to make sure it’s still there.
She sinks a down a little further
As she recalls the struggles of the day.
She tries her very hardest
To tuck the pain away.
For her feet are raw and swollen.
Her bones are weak and brittle.
She allows herself to recline back
And rest her eyes a little.
As she rocks gently in her chair,
Weary in mind and spirit,
The floor boards creak and moan with age
Though she can barely hear it.
For her bones protest the movement too,
As she rocks both to and fro
And her mind takes her to places
Her heart does not wish to go.
She tries to keep her thoughts focused
But suddenly on a whim,
She is taken back to an earlier time
And to memories of him.
She tries to distract her mind
From taking her to that place.
She tries to block out the smell of his skin
And the crooked smile on his face.
Oh how she loved him so,
As her heart gives a small lurch.
She recalls that day so long ago
When she was standing in the church
In a dress so white, and train so long,
And him standing at the altar.
It was just a moment, just a glance,
But she saw his footsteps falter.
As he stepped down from the altar stairs
He tried to avoid her gaze.
He shook his head no, and slipped away,
Leaving everyone in a daze.
She bravely held her smile in place
As she looked among the crowd,
Certain they could hear her silent screams
And her heart beating oh so loud!
But she never showed an ounce of grief,
As the dream inside of her died.
She gathered up her long, white train
And pushed the tears aside.
She squared off her shoulders
And straightened up her back.
She would not allow him to break her,
Though her pride endured a crack.
But her spine was now rim rod straight
And her head was held so high.
Her gaze was focused forward
As she bid that dream goodbye.
Eventually she married someone else
And they started a new life.
Although she wasn’t quite sure how
To be this strange man’s wife.
Because a part of her was missing,
Deep down in her core.
A part of her was left behind
That day, on that church floor.
But she gave her groom her body,
For as his wife that was her role.
But she knew inside, she could never quite
Share with him her soul.
She birthed three healthy children,
And a fourth that was not meant to be.
She feels her heart clench in anguish
As she recalls that memory.
She remembers that day at the cemetery;
The casket so tiny and small.
She stood in black dress and veil;
Her spine supported her through it all.
Time and again as she raised her children,
Until the day she laid her husband to rest,
She found in herself a fortitude
That she never knew she possessed.
As her mind takes her down memory lane,
Across the years, both short and long,
She praises herself for her strength of spirit
And for a body that was so strong.
For she could handle most anything,
She was prideful to report.
Through it all, her mighty backbone
Never failed to support.
Because among that spinal column,
And between each vertebrae,
Was built a strength and character
That exists still to this day.
Even though it is now crooked,
And she no longer stands as tall,
That backbone still holds her up
And will not allow her to fall.
And it’s no wonder how it supports us
When we consider the spine’s great length.
The heart holds our emotions,
But the backbone holds our strength.
The mind contains our memories,
And the heart and mind often align.
But the heartache and the troubles in life
Are supported by our spine.
And as this old woman keeps rocking,
Eventually the movement slows.
As her breathing becomes shallow,
And her eyes permanently close.
It is a few hours later
When her family finds her there.
Her head is back, she is at peace,
Sitting silently in her chair.
She is laid to rest days later,
Void of life and breath.
Reclining in her casket,
Her spine supports her, even in death.
As she lays upon that backbone,
With blood no longer coursing through her veins,
Eventually the flesh will disappear.
But the mighty backbone still remains.
