In the blink of an eye the holiday season is upon us! Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and already people who are hosting this event are making their lists and checking them twice. The seasonal commercials always make me chuckle, as they feature a perfect holiday table with the beautiful family gathered around, and everyone “oohing” and ahhing” as Dad, in his stark white apron, with not one stain, brings the beautiful whole bird straight from the oven to the table. I always wonder when and where they carve it. Or the commercial with an equally perfect table setting, where two brothers reach into the basket of rolls to find only one crescent roll remaining. They eye each other to see who is going to surrender that last roll (is splitting it in half not an option?) as we wonder in suspense what is going to happen! But have no fear, as Mom is right around the corner with a fresh basket of rolls, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief as each boy gets his very own crescent roll.
The commercials and the movies make the holidays seem like a perfect time, surrounded by family and friends, with nary a conflict or disagreement to be found. The truth is, the holidays are a very lonely time for some. This is not a new situation or something new to the current times we are in. Decades ago, there were still people who didn’t have a family nearby, and spent the holidays alone. But in our current culture, with social media to stay connected, and the ease of Evites, it is sad to hear that there are still people who have nowhere to go on these holidays.
Even if you are fortunate enough to have loved ones to spend the holidays with, that does not mean they are stress free, especially this year. Holiday gatherings are already being canceled due to political divisiveness. If the gathering is scheduled to go on, the hosts and hostesses are praying that everything will go smoothly and everyone will be on their best behavior. So all the way around, it is a stressful time, and the peace and contentment featured in those holiday commercials and movies seems more like science fiction than reality. I really do feel for the hosts (for simplicity’s sake, I am going to use the word host instead of hostess, although I refer to the main character in this poem as a female) as they plan their holiday dinners and events. The featured poem below, The Dinner Party, tries to poke a little fun at these stressful times and holiday parties. In this poem, the main character optimistically decides to host a dinner party. As she happily starts to plan the event, her enthusiasm begins to fade, as she takes into account each person’s specific dietary or eating preferences. This is a new “problem” in our current generation. There have never been so many different diets or plans to follow. Now some of them are necessary due to health or allergy issues. But some ways of eating are due to our preferences or ethical viewpoints. There is nothing wrong with that, and truth be told I admire that tenacity and willingness to not give into temptation. I love animals too, but I also love a good rib-eye. As a host of a dinner party, it does make menu planning a challenge. No host wants to see their platter of roast beef passed from person to person with no one taking a portion, or the mashed potatoes they worked on all day passed by because they contain butter. The green bean casserole may go untouched by the person who doesn’t eat carbs, and so on. There is no greater compliment to a host then when their guests leave full and happy, and if they have to let their belt out a notch, well glory hallelujah! Throw in a belch, which is a complement in some cultures, and the host ends the night on a very happy note. As much as a host wants a successful party, one that will be remembered long after it is over, they want their guests to leave satisfied too, which is why any good host will take into account the dietary preferences of their guests when planning the menu.
But this can be a very daunting task as in this poem, the host starts to get overwhelmed as she considers all of these different eating styles. She decides to take a break from menu planning and move onto the seating arrangements. Once again, challenges ensue, as the host realizes that seating guests next to each other who have such different interests or religious or political views is probably not the best idea. It’s unfortunate it is this way sometimes. We could really learn and grow from each other if we put down our defenses and just listened, and perhaps try to learn something new. Sometimes we get stifled, or fall into a bit of “groupthink” if we always surround ourselves with people who have the same views. But it is hard in our current time to have a conversation that leads more with curiosity and less with criticism. We have our guards up more, and too often we are listening less as we strive to formulate our next thought or defend our argument while waiting for our turn to speak. So these are issues that any host will take into account when planning their seating arrangement. Again, in this poem, the host decides this is too big of a task, as she decides that perhaps it would be better to just have a small gathering with appetizers and drinks rather than a sit down dinner. But even this comes with its challenges, and although the host tries to remain optimistic, her patience starts to diminish. Eventually she asks herself that question we’ve probably all asked in recent years: “Can’t we all just get along?”
Fun fact: During the editing of the book “Gather Seeds of Hope…” the editor put a comment in the margin of this poem to let me know this was his favorite poem in the book. I hope you enjoy it too, and take it for the fun poem that it was intended to be. Maybe you’ll even refer back to it for a chuckle when the holiday planning gets to be too much.
The Dinner Party
I think I’ll have a dinner party.
I know it will be great.
I have many friends and loved ones,
And so much to celebrate.
I can’t wait to send the invites.
It’ll be such fun
To get everyone together.
It will be a home run!
I’ll start working on the menu.
I wonder what I’ll serve.
I want to make it special;
A night they all deserve.
I’m excited to start planning,
From cocktails through dessert.
I know some have a regimen,
As they’ve put me on alert.
Marybeth is gluten-free
So there goes the pasta dish.
Robert’s pescatarian,
So maybe I’ll serve fish.
Susan is on Carnivore
So no vegetables for her.
Michael’s a vegetarian,
So those two will not concur.
But Michael is lacto-ovo;
Does that mean he will eat dairy?
I’m not sure of all the different types,
As I make a note to query.
Martha is a vegan,
So no animal at all.
All these special diets
Are keeping me on the ball!
Tommy is on Keto
So bring on the fat and butter.
This is getting crazy,
As under my breath I start to mutter.
Joy is lactose intolerant;
There goes my creamy cake.
Courtney requested flourless,
But doesn’t that taste fake?
Julia needs sugar-free,
So watch the salad dressing.
I’m so glad I remember these things;
My memory is a blessing.
Melanie is fasting
And only eats at certain hours.
Jennifer has allergies;
I’d better scratch the flowers.
Alicia will drink red wine,
But only if organic.
All of these requirements…
I’m trying not to panic!
I am doing my very best
To take everything to heart.
Forget about the menu—
I’ll work on the seating chart.
Patrick is a liberal
And Andrew is far right.
I’ll seat them on opposite ends
So they won’t start a fight.
Daniel is an atheist,
But hopefully he won’t care
If Helen wants to all join hands
And say a dinner prayer.
Joseph is an Army vet
And has completed two full tours.
Donald is a pacifist
And despises any wars.
Darren drives a Prius;
Bill drives a diesel truck.
All these oppositions,
I’m starting to not give a ____!
Forget the seating chart,
We’ll have hors d’oeuvres and mingle.
Tom’s newly divorced,
And I think Holly is single.
Perhaps there is a chance
They will make a connection.
Everything will be alright;
Just don’t bring up the election!
I’m starting to lose patience
And ask myself if I’m wrong
To ask that for one night
We all just get along?!
All of this preparation
Has turned me to a grouch,
As I order up a pizza
And collapse onto my couch.
